Annoying Severus Snape
by VariegatedMosaic
Summary: The summer before Harry's 7th year, Voldemort's older brother Sal appears, and it's up to Severus Snape to make sure the unknown boy doesn't go messing up his plans. How exactly is Sal related to Voldemort? Where does Sal's loyalty lie? What is Sal's true purpose? Well, if you ask Sal, it's to annoy Severus Snape.


**And yet again, another one of my overpowered OCs. After all, one cannot expect to have an appearance of Voldemort's sibling without the necessary power levels, otherwise it would be instant death for said sibling at the hands of their dear brother Voldemort. Gender-bender, dimension travel, time-travel, TMR's sibling! And yes, there will be OOC-ness due to my own laziness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter series.**

"Normal speech."

::_Parseltongue._::

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**Chapter 1: Why Followers Are Useful**

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**3rd Person POV**

Voldemort was holding court (a.k.a. a meeting) in the Malfoy's drawing room, sitting at a table with his followers.

Nagini was feeding on the corpse of one recently deceased Charity Burbage, several Death Eaters watching on in horrid fascination while the others pretended not to notice.

Suddenly, there was a swirling mass of multi-colored lights in the center of the table. Everyone immediately stood up, pointing their wands in the direction of the lights as they shielded their eyes. When the light dimmed and eventually disappeared, they could see that there was a male figure standing upon the Malfoy's drawing room table.

He looked to be in his late teens or early twenties, long jet-black hair with streaks of blue tied up in a high ponytail, dark sapphire eyes, and wearing obviously Muggle clothing that showed off a slim, fit build.

He calmly looked around him at the Dark Lord's followers pointing wands in his direction. He looked down at the snake that had paused, then continued devouring the corpse. Then he looked back up.

"Now, which one of you goes by the name of Tom Marvolo Riddle?" It was a pleasant voice, though the accent was American. The boy then put a hand to his throat. "What in the world? My voice sounds weird."

However, further speculation was interrupted as the Death Eaters finally regained some of their senses, and several curses and hexes were thrown at the boy, but he nimbly dodged all of them. After a few minutes of futile attempts, during which the boy never left the tabletop and the Dark Lord didn't move a muscle except to occasional twitch of his eyelids, Voldemort signaled his followers to a halt. The boy just calmly stood on the table, hands in his pockets, showing absolutely no sign of physical exertion.

"Who are you?" Everyone could feel the displeasure radiating from the Dark Lord. He was not pleased to have a brat dancing on the tabletop, making a mockery of his followers, and by extension, of him.

Said brat grinned. "Hi! I'm Sal, and I'm looking for my brother." The brat's attention wandered to observe the followers.

"And your brother's name is Tom Marvolo Riddle?"

"Yup, that's right."

"Why are you looking for him?"

"Because I want to see him, meet him, catch up with him, go do fun things with him, so on and so forth. I've never met him, and from what I know, he's the closest living relative I've got."

"Tom Riddle has no living relations," Voldemort practically hissed out, causing Sal's to focus on the Dark Lord.

"Oh, you must be Tom. Nice to meet you. I'm Sal, your older sister."

"Don't you mean brother?" One of the Death Eaters spoke up.

"I'm not a guy. I'm a girl!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You might want to check, boy. You're as flat as a plank."

The boy stuck his hands on his chest and noticed that he no longer had the anatomy of a girl. He glanced quickly at his crotch. "Oh, shit. When did that happen?"

::_I have no need for that Muggle name, nor do I have an older sibling._:: Voldemort started speaking in Parseltongue, causing several Death Eaters to cringe, watching their leader in apprehension.

The boy just nonchalantly answered in English, "Sorry, bro, but you do. To both."

::My_ parents did not have any other children._::

"Well, I'm from your mother's side of the family, so I guess that make me your older half-sister, or brother, since I now seem to be a boy."

::_You can understand me?_::

"Of course."

::_Then why do you not speak in the language of snakes?_::

"Because I like the English language. And it sort of is common courtesy to speak the common tongue in front of your supposedly loyal sheep."

Voldemort couldn't deny that the brat seemed to be speaking the truth about being related to him through his mother. "How old are you to be claiming that you are my elder sibling?"

"Well, I'm 17, but I was born in 1924, so, well, let's just not go into technicalities. I'm still older than you, though."

Now Voldemort was just exasperated. Trying to deal with the brat was annoying. "Why are you here?"

"I'm checking up on my younger brother, obviously. And I kind of need a place to stay now that I'm here."

"Why should I do anything that you want?"

"Well, I don't really feel like going down the blackmail route, so let's just say, out of the decency of the tiny sliver remaining of your heart."

Voldemort glared at Sal. He sent a silent curse at Sal, but Sal just dodged.

"Any specifics as to where you would like to stay?"

"Somewhere quiet and peaceful. Oh, and I think I may want to eventually go see this Hogwarts that I've heard so much about."

Voldemort thought quickly. "Severus."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"You will be the one to accommodate...my brother. You should feel honored." The unspoken, 'You deal with it," was clear. On the inside, Voldemort was just glad to have followers to foist this new unwanted problem on.

"Of course, my Lord."

"Now leave. All of you."

The followers all bowed and began leaving the drawing room.

As Sal was leaving, however, he couldn't help but give a last minute talk to his brother.

::_Tom, I know what you're doing. I can't condone it, and it's enough for me to want to beat the crap out of you, but I'll refrain for now since you're still family. However, if you don't change, I won't hesitate to beat you up._:: Voldemort hissed in displeasure. And then, as an afterthought, Sal added, ::_And stop feeding Nagini humans. It can't be good for her health._::

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**So, thoughts? I know that Voldemort isn't exactly showing his Slytherin side in this. Let's just say that since Sal is a fellow Slytherin descendant, Voldemort is feeling overwhelmed by Sal's overexuberant, happy nature. Almost like, say, pushing Naruto onto Voldemort. Also, Voldemort is more concerned about Harry Potter and the Elder Wand rather than this new arrival.**

**Please review! Thanks! ~VM**


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